[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/session.php on line 554: include_once(./includes/auth/auth_jfusion.php): failed to open stream: No such file or directory
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/session.php on line 554: include_once(): Failed opening './includes/auth/auth_jfusion.php' for inclusion (include_path='.:/opt/php54/lib/php')
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/session.php on line 1042: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3887)
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/session.php on line 1042: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3887)
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/session.php on line 1042: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3887)
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4752: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3887)
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4754: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3887)
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4755: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3887)
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4756: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3887)
Federal Government Girls College Owerri • View topic - TRAVELLING

TRAVELLING

Discuss daily and general issues

Postby horizon » Wed Nov 26, 2008 12:31 pm

having said all dat!! i dont see no 'blackie missed calls anymore..... :(



yes i am back....chiz,if u dont come and collect, me thinks i can safely claim the prize as mine!
e don happen
horizon
Council Chair
Council Chair
 
Posts: 1082
Joined: Wed Sep 15, 2004 8:00 pm

Postby chizor » Wed Nov 26, 2008 2:48 pm

horizon wrote:having said all dat!! i dont see no 'blackie missed calls anymore..... :(



yes i am back....chiz,if u dont come and collect, me thinks i can safely claim the prize as mine!


Lol! Horibaby, thank you very plenty. I shall come very soon and if i look for that thing eh? lol!
"Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed."

-Proverbs 16:3
chizor
The Untouchable
The Untouchable
 
Posts: 3063
Joined: Wed May 19, 2004 8:00 pm
Location: Main tap

Postby Kellyeva » Fri Nov 28, 2008 8:27 pm

blackie wrote:
Kellyeva wrote:
Ugbonma wrote:Yes to that chizor.... Blackie has been faithful so far lol

Y is it that women find it easier to fashi some of their gal friends or the activities that they were formely active in once they get married. Men usually take the time to hang out with their pallies and have fun,they don't just take off and disappear whether they are busy or not.

:smt102 anyhow sha, to each its own. I guess it depends on individuals.
maybe wen we all get married eventually, we'll fashi d site........ :smt085 :smt105 :smt107


Its just a girl thing i guess. I ask the same question sometimes. For most girls it takes a little while to settle into the new role of being a wife while for others its a i'm no longer on ur level type of thing. But i always say to each his own.


What's this 'level' thing, biko? If anyone thinks they're on a 'better level' than anyone else just because they got married they must be trippin. Being married is a vocation, just as being single is, so [imaginary] girl, you ain't better than no one else! People sef...

Methinks the way a newlywed babe relates to her friends and acquaintances after marriage is mostly a factor of they way she has conducted her relationship prior to getting married. If there wasn't much of a relationship then it's all very strange and she feels like she's being yanked from one realm into another- yanked , not transitioned. All of a sudden you're living in each other's pockets, 2-4-7. Sleep, wake go to work, come back/same face. THEN she needs time to adjust. But I can't see how logging into my fave webbies will require a sea change :?: :?: You have the rest of your lives together so why the sudden hogging?

Having said that, there's things such as moving to a new town/city/country/planet :lol: that could destabilise a chic, and means that she genuinely needs time to adjust. If all of a sudden your family and friends are hundreds of miles away, it has a way of making you withdrawn...or heading online to connect with 'em! She might have even given up her job to follow hubby, which needs adjusting to. It may also mean loss/limitation of internet access.

or ahem, if babe is preggers (immediately b4 or immediately after the wedding) then no amount of 'relationships, jokes and gossip central' can cheer her up enough to log in as usual. THAT needs adjusting to - being preggers, that is.

I think I've been lucky, it hasn't been such a sudden lifestyle change for me. My biggest bugbear right now is waking up in the morning and finding that the clothes I had 'mentally ironed' for work are not there. Because they're not there - I haven't packed them. I didn't know moving house was so difficult and time-consuming, now I feel ashamed for harrassing my sister to come and pack her things after she got married last year :oops: I deliberate on what to take with me, and what to leave behind; what to throw away, what to dash away...then I leave it all for next time.


Oya BTT, Chiz, looks like horibaby is back abi?




Blackie, I am SINGLE, VERY VERY SINGLE and definitely not imaginery and never claimed to be better than anyone else. The word Level depends on the context you want to use it. A few of my close friends are married. I personally allow them dictate the way the want to handle our relationship. I personally never hold it against them if they decide to keep a distance. I think that is where understanding and respect comes to play. My belief......He who plays the piper dictates the tune.
Kellyeva
Ranking Member
Ranking Member
 
Posts: 837
Joined: Sun Apr 16, 2006 8:00 pm
Location: All over the world

Postby adore » Fri Nov 28, 2008 10:33 pm

Ok Chizor, since you've been taken care of as per your request lol lol , i guess we can talk about some other issues lol lol.
I was going through everyone's posts about relationships after marriage etc... and that brought me to one issue that has annoying as i dont have remedy again.
I have a friend who lives in California which is like 2 hours behind us and this girl will never call me until 12 midnight. I have returned her calls, begged her to please desist from calling me at those odd hours as it wakes my poor husband up after having a tedious day at work, but she has not stopped. Infact I dont know if her problem is that she forgets or what......... I stopped taking her calls but she kept calling, its not just that one, some of my friends call from Nigeria wil call me at 5am, 4am, 6am, sometimes it makes me feel like crying when I remember the ay my husband looks at me when it happens.
Please how do you guys handle this. How can somebody be calling her married friend at odd hours??? I always try to leave my mob line on incase of family emergency, but am now rethinking........
"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase." -- Martin Luther King, Jr.(civil rights leader)
adore
Senior Student
Senior Student
 
Posts: 148
Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2007 8:00 pm

Postby Kellyeva » Fri Nov 28, 2008 10:51 pm

Adore,

Exactly my point. I think that its up to you to decide on what relationships you want to keep after marriage. If the friends calling you at such unreasonable hours (remember that it is now unreasonable cos your status is changed and you have to put ur man into consideration) are people you care about and you value the friendships, then i suggest you tell them to stop calling at such hours. Trust me ... A good friend who respects you and your marriage will stop.

I have a very close friend here. We live about 5 mins away from each other. I worked with her in Nigeria, came to the US and we continued our friendship. She got married 3 years ago. We are still very close friends and talk like we used to. However, I also acknowledge that she is now married so all those very late night visits, late calls to talk about crap had to stop.

I believe that as much as your life doesn't end cos you are now married, there should be respectable boundaries which friends should respect and keep.
Kellyeva
Ranking Member
Ranking Member
 
Posts: 837
Joined: Sun Apr 16, 2006 8:00 pm
Location: All over the world

Postby chizor » Sat Nov 29, 2008 6:31 am

Kellyeva wrote:Adore,

Exactly my point. I think that its up to you to decide on what relationships you want to keep after marriage.


Why keep a relationship now, that you cant keep after marriage?

My question (to all) therefore is: "Why cant all relationships be kept after marriage?"- Critically analyse.
"Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed."

-Proverbs 16:3
chizor
The Untouchable
The Untouchable
 
Posts: 3063
Joined: Wed May 19, 2004 8:00 pm
Location: Main tap

Postby chizor » Sat Nov 29, 2008 6:42 am

blackie wrote:
Methinks the way a newlywed babe relates to her friends and acquaintances after marriage is mostly a factor of they way she has conducted her relationship prior to getting married.


Kpom kwem!
"Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed."

-Proverbs 16:3
chizor
The Untouchable
The Untouchable
 
Posts: 3063
Joined: Wed May 19, 2004 8:00 pm
Location: Main tap

Postby nkay » Sat Nov 29, 2008 11:53 am

Kellyeva wrote:
If the friends calling you at such unreasonable hours (remember that it is now unreasonable cos your status is changed and you have to put ur man into consideration) are people you care about and you value the friendships, then i suggest you tell them to stop calling at such hours. Trust me ... A good friend who respects you and your marriage will stop.


Exactly!!! Lets look at it the other way around. Just like Adore's story, 75% of the time, it's most likely that the unmarried friend calls at supposedly "odd" hours. Remember status don change. Some friends will understand, others will begin to whine. Unfortunately, the latter is always the majority. For me I think the main thing that fuels this behavior is when people begin to make comparisons. If the girl has Friend A,B and C who are married, she most likely doesn't realize that she can't expect all of them to relate to her the same way. They are all in different relationships HENCE different "hours" for calling or free time. If A treats her the way she likes, she begins to compare B or C to her and may say something like, "What's she feeling like, is she the only married one?, After all, A is married too.". Wharreva man :roll: Bottomline is, you don't know what goes on in people's marriages so.......
"It is easier for us to believe in the wrath of God than in His mercy, for wrath is a feeling that is human while mercy is divine."
nkay
Ranking Member
Ranking Member
 
Posts: 892
Joined: Sun May 30, 2004 8:00 pm
Location: Staffroom 'C'

Postby blackie » Mon Dec 01, 2008 8:55 am

Kellyeva wrote:Blackie, I am SINGLE, VERY VERY SINGLE and definitely not imaginery and never claimed to be better than anyone else. The word Level depends on the context you want to use it. A few of my close friends are married. I personally allow them dictate the way the want to handle our relationship. I personally never hold it against them if they decide to keep a distance. I think that is where understanding and respect comes to play. My belief......He who plays the piper dictates the tune.


Kelly dear, clearly I need to go back and polish my comms skills as I have managed to thoroughly confuse you here, and I thought we were on the same page!

Ma binu, you cannot be imaginary my dear, neither have I accused you of being anything other than very single.

ON A DIFFERENT NOTE THOUGH (sorry to nick your space kelly but this is a general observation too, just happens to be in this post);

How come some married girls who claim they no longer have time to spend with their friends (who almost always seem to be single), somehow find time to cultivate new relationships with (you guessed it, other married) girls and spend the same amount of time if not more on those new friendships? So really, it's not so much about focus changing from friends to the hubby, as it is from one set of friends to another...I know one name for it, SMS (Smug Married Syndrome).
Fearfully and wonderfully made. And then they threw away the mould
blackie
Ranking Member
Ranking Member
 
Posts: 716
Joined: Sat May 22, 2004 8:00 pm

Postby shaded » Mon Dec 01, 2008 11:37 am

Just adding to Blackie's post

......or they have time to cultivate friendships with their hubby's friends' wives.

Don't get me wrong. Getting married may change your outlook with regards to friends, but at least be honest about your reasons.
shaded
Ranking Member
Ranking Member
 
Posts: 650
Joined: Sun Oct 30, 2005 8:00 pm

Postby horizon » Mon Dec 01, 2008 12:31 pm

BIA NUO...SOMETIMES (SORRY ABOUT CAPS)


i remember when i was single and my friends got married and the contact was gradually drying out, i told my friends at the time, that 'if' i got married, it wont be the same with me, i will always try to keep the contact and find time for the outtings...HOWEVER, this is me thinkin i am still the same, but i have been told that i dont contact ppl as much as before and in some cases, it has almost dried out, so sometimes circumstances r beyond ones control...i dont think anyone genuinely gets married then gbaguo way her friends....married is a partnership and maybe in that partnership, there is extra work which warrants more concentration one thing than the other....


who brought this topic up sef?
e don happen
horizon
Council Chair
Council Chair
 
Posts: 1082
Joined: Wed Sep 15, 2004 8:00 pm

Postby shaded » Mon Dec 01, 2008 1:30 pm

horizon wrote:....married is a partnership


Horibaby, abeg this is not the KPUM thread
shaded
Ranking Member
Ranking Member
 
Posts: 650
Joined: Sun Oct 30, 2005 8:00 pm

Postby chizor » Mon Dec 01, 2008 2:31 pm

shaded wrote:
horizon wrote:....married is a partnership


Horibaby, abeg this is not the KPUM thread


For real though...i agree with horibaby. Married is a partnership and marriage is a partner :-D Shaba!
"Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed."

-Proverbs 16:3
chizor
The Untouchable
The Untouchable
 
Posts: 3063
Joined: Wed May 19, 2004 8:00 pm
Location: Main tap

Postby dubem » Mon Dec 01, 2008 5:56 pm

Chizor I can't wait for ya own wedding.
When is the date again??? :lol: :lol: :lol:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Whatever I allow into my world becomes my reality

To the degree that we seek the approval of men, we will compromise our obedience to Christ - Rick Joyner
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
dubem
The Untouchable
The Untouchable
 
Posts: 4706
Joined: Thu Jun 09, 2005 8:00 pm
Location: Ohio

Postby chizor » Mon Dec 01, 2008 5:58 pm

dubem wrote:Chizor I can't wait for ya own wedding.
When is the date again??? :lol: :lol: :lol:


How many times will i tell you? Oya..bring your head...
"Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed."

-Proverbs 16:3
chizor
The Untouchable
The Untouchable
 
Posts: 3063
Joined: Wed May 19, 2004 8:00 pm
Location: Main tap

PreviousNext

Return to General Topics

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron