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Federal Government Girls College Owerri • View topic - TRAVELLING

TRAVELLING

Discuss daily and general issues

Postby dubem » Mon Dec 01, 2008 6:02 pm

Lol :P
MBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I hula monkey!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Whatever I allow into my world becomes my reality

To the degree that we seek the approval of men, we will compromise our obedience to Christ - Rick Joyner
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Postby stellaukaoma » Tue Dec 02, 2008 2:38 am

I'm loving this discussion about friendship and marriage. I have had a couple of friends who became invisible after they got married. I do agree with the idea that they may be making new friends ... with other couples. Horizon did have a point about the marriage/partnership thing because if your husband doesn't like your friends, you WILL give them up or risk getting into huge arguments.
Sidebar: I still tease my girl about her BFF that her husband HATED!!!!! This man ran this friend off, seriously. And this is a very, very nice guy so it wasn't like he was a controlling, demanding type. I still say I'm going to investigate the reason behind the dislike but its been years ago so its water under the bridge now
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Postby horizon » Tue Dec 02, 2008 8:07 am

shaded wrote:
horizon wrote:....married is a partnership


Horibaby, abeg this is not the KPUM thread


shaded u for copy and paste am for KPUM thread now? dat thread seriously needs revival.

and yes chizor is right....married is a partnership.....marriage is a verb....proper SHABA!
e don happen
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Postby zika_anoka » Tue Dec 02, 2008 12:35 pm

Personally if u are facing reality. You will realise that time is a major issue in married people's lives. And a good friend will make room for the changes. I sometimes think we ladies read too much meaning into stuff

Friends that I had when single have continued some just faded away because they were too touchy. Some when u are talking about my husband dis and dat..... will start getting angry at the too much mention of husband and kids.

But I assure u every married woman will tell u that kids and husbands change ur priorities without ur permission.

Adore disconnect ya phone at nite if they don't get it. No bodi go follow u de quarrel for ur home.

Finally some friends don't know that the topics have changed, a friend personnally told me of pals that only talk about their escapades (infront of hubby) which she feels he is better off not knowing.

Finally finallly other are protecting their catch afterall single means that u are open to ideas(erronous though)
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Postby uluisrare » Thu Dec 04, 2008 4:43 pm

chizor wrote:
Kellyeva wrote:Adore,

Exactly my point. I think that its up to you to decide on what relationships you want to keep after marriage.


Why keep a relationship now, that you cant keep after marriage?

My question (to all) therefore is: "Why cant all relationships be kept after marriage?"- Critically analyse.


Good morning chairman, students, panel of impartial judges, i am here to defend the motion that all relationships cannot be kept after marriage for the following reasons:
it's good for single friends of married people to realise that as kelly/blackie pointed out, when a lady marries, her life changes either significantly or insignificantly...
but there r some friends who u can't let go of single or married...
frankly a few months ago when my "best friend" from college etc got married i felt so alone... i was like, now wot... so i gave her a bit of space.. i respeceted her and gave her space... but after a while i noticed we had so much in common besides her marriage and every thing evened out....
a lot of times, some pple have to drop their old friends cos of the common factor in their marriage... if for eg the common factor was ur careers, God, school work etc before u got married, all those things still exist after ur marriage so u can't let them go...
BUT if th common factor was men, boys, men, boys... its so obvious that now u've got wot u guys were always going on after u don't need them no more...
i hope that with these points i have been able to convince u that... 8O
If swimming is so good for you why are whales so fat?
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Postby uluisrare » Thu Dec 04, 2008 4:49 pm

horizon wrote:
shaded wrote:
horizon wrote:....married is a partnership


Horibaby, abeg this is not the KPUM thread


shaded u for copy and paste am for KPUM thread now? dat thread seriously needs revival.

and yes chizor is right....married is a partnership.....marriage is a verb....proper SHABA!


ROTFWL (and coughing while at it!) ah ah chiz, this ur kpum situation has entered a new stratum..... 8O 8O 8O pls take it easy o.... or as they say, "sofry sofry o" this is christmas season... :P :P :-D :lol: ;-) :!:
oh it was horibaby.... ok for ur cute babies, i take back the laughter...
marriage is truly a partner... ah, this site.... how come i have been away....!
If swimming is so good for you why are whales so fat?
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Postby uluisrare » Thu Dec 04, 2008 4:52 pm

shaded wrote:Just adding to Blackie's post

......or they have time to cultivate friendships with their hubby's friends' wives.

Don't get me wrong. Getting married may change your outlook with regards to friends, but at least be honest about your reasons.


true that.... i agree....
hmm....
but pls am i missing something...
when u get married, at least before the kids come... isn't it a bit like full time dating....
do more things change... nhia, please wot r the married folk not telling us o.....

i think the SMS syndrome (courtesy of blackie) summarises it...
If swimming is so good for you why are whales so fat?
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Postby uluisrare » Thu Dec 04, 2008 4:54 pm

shaded wrote:Just adding to Blackie's post

......or they have time to cultivate friendships with their hubby's friends' wives.

Don't get me wrong. Getting married may change your outlook with regards to friends, but at least be honest about your reasons.


true that.... i agree....
hmm....
but pls am i missing something...
when u get married, at least before the kids come... isn't it a bit like full time dating....
do more things change... nhia, please wot r the married folk not telling us o.....

i think the SMS syndrome (courtesy of blackie) summarises it...
If swimming is so good for you why are whales so fat?
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Postby uluisrare » Thu Dec 04, 2008 4:57 pm

again... if u had a friend that u didn't quite trust e.g. she had a first class in seducing.... after marriage wot? nhia....
some pple r just protecting their interest...
but married pple shld also be nice, like zika said, if all u talk about with ur single friend is my hubby this and my kids that... hmm its not balanced or if all u talk abt is my date the other night with joe the plumber or my outing yesterday with Tim the welder.. it too is not balanced!
in short, i think any friendship that fades off cos of marriage was really not a friendship in the first place!
If swimming is so good for you why are whales so fat?
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Postby chizor » Fri Dec 05, 2008 4:18 pm

uluisrare wrote:again... if u had a friend that u didn't quite trust e.g. she had a first class in seducing.... after marriage wot? nhia....


True say, but the question is..."why keep such a friend in the first place, or why wait to dump them after marriage?

Personally, im still not aware of any good reason why some friends should be dropped after marriage. In my view, its either they are friends now and friends after marriage, or not friends at all.

Unless of course, all those naughty boys!
"Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed."

-Proverbs 16:3
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Postby Ugbonma » Fri Dec 05, 2008 6:59 pm

Bad boyz ni bad boys kooo!!!! I think some gals are just as guilty of the bad boyz LoL

I am not married but I know that things do change to a large extent among married and single friends. Change is part of life and I think married and single folks should understand and appreciate this fact first of all. Ur recently married gal(s) may not be available for nites/days out, shopping, sleep-overs, etc. not only does she have her hubby and kids to deal with, there are also the inlawz to deal with (occasionally)as well as other major family issues and events.

Anyone who drops friends after marriage (for the sole reason of being married) was never a good friend in the first place (and is not a good person overall). However, single folks (like me) need to understand that things can't be the same with married friends cos their priorities change/shift. I would expect my married friends to still reach out to me in their own lil ways, but dropping me off just cos they are married just confirms that they were never my friends in the first place. At the same time, single folks have to realize and understand that quality time spent with married friends is gonna be reduced and we need to learn to be accomodating and understanding. If it hurts, discuss it with ur friend(s) and if she(they) is(are) still the same, move on with ur own life

People are different, some single people are more sensitive and demanding than others are; some married folks are foolish enough to think they need not be yoked with umarried people (lol) just cos they are now married. If u have people from either groups in your lives, then they are not worth it at all, drop them and move on.
But if you still have understanding and good friends, its not wise to drop them off ooooo just for being single or married; still do stuff with them even if its once in a while....

My own 2 cents :wink: :wink:
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Postby faridah » Wed Dec 10, 2008 9:09 am

I am still friends with most of my old friends. However, the relationships have changed a couple of times. I would say that when I was in college or for the ones I knew from high school, we were almost inseparable. When we graduated and started working, we moved to more phone calls and seeing each other once in a while. Then as we really got into our careers and some of us went back to school, phone calls got less frequent, because we were all very busy. But whenever, we talked, it was really good. And if anyone had serious problems, like boyfriend or work drama, of course we talked more.

Then came the weddings and we all get together and have a blast. A lot of communication around weddings. And now we are back to catching up with each other, a few times a year and especially on birthdays and Christmas. All I can say is that we still love each other, we don't talk as much as we used to or hang out as much but we are still tight and will always be there for one another because we have history. And I just have not been able to make new friends as I did when I was in high school and college so if for some reason I loose an old friend, can't quite replace them.

Anyway, to sum up, we have had periods of high and low communication, some had to do with marriage and some had to do with other life issues but real friendships survive. I am always amazed at how I could go for 3 years and not see someone and when we get together, we just start off where we left and it feels like we just saw each other yesterday. Actually, writing this has made me think of some people and I am going to make some calls today :).
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