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Federal Government Girls College Owerri • View topic - JOKES

JOKES

Discuss daily and general issues

JOKES

Postby nekababy » Wed Sep 06, 2006 11:59 pm

1st Joke:
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. This being a big event,the girl tells her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and "do it" for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never done it before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some protection.

The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about protection and doing it. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many he'd like to buy; a 3-pack, a 10-pack, or a family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be needing it, this being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in." The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. Ten minutes pass and still no movement from the boy. Finally,after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to her boyfriend, "I had no idea you were so religious.
" The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a
pharmacist."


2nd Joke:
A lady walked into a drugstore and told the pharmacist she needed some cyanide. The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady then explained that she needed it to poison her husband. The
pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord have mercy, I can't give
you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! They'll throw
both of us in jail and I'll lose my license."
Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her
husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife, and handed it to the pharmacist.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, you
didn't tell me you had a prescription!"
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Postby ngozify » Thu Sep 07, 2006 12:20 am

:lol:
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Postby onyi810 » Thu Sep 07, 2006 5:30 am

Nneka nice jokes. :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Postby sophienwagwu » Fri Sep 08, 2006 2:15 pm

:D :D :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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The N500 and N5

Postby kk » Mon Sep 11, 2006 4:39 am

The N500 and N5

A well-worn Five Hundred Naira note and a similarly distressed Five Naira note arrived at the Central Bank to be retired. As they moved along the conveyor belt to be burnt, they struck up a conversation.
The Five Hundred Naira reminisced about its travels all over the county. "I've had a pretty good life," the Five Hundred Naira proclaimed. "Why I've been to Lagos, Ibadan, Benin, Kano and Abuja, the finest restaurants in Victoria Island, Kaduna, Abuja and eastern Nigeria, performances at Muson Centre and Glover Hall, hottest nite clubs all over the country and even a cruise on the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans."
"Wow!" said the Five Naira. "You've really had an exciting life!" "So tell me," says the Five Hundred, "where have you been throughout your lifetime?"
The Five Naira replies, "Oh, I've been to the Apostolic & Methodist Church, the Redeemed Christian Church, the Deeper Life Bible Church, Baptist Church, the C & S Church ,CCC, the Lutheran Church..."
The Five Hundred Naira note interrupts, "What's a church?"

Please help the N500 notes go to church.
Enjoy life....You never live the same day twice!
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Postby weruche » Mon Sep 11, 2006 8:54 am

:lol:
...but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. ( Phil. 3: 13-14)
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Postby horizon » Mon Sep 11, 2006 9:07 am

HA ha :lol:
e don happen
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Postby nekababy » Mon Sep 11, 2006 3:11 pm

Really funny.
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Postby sandy » Tue Oct 10, 2006 2:14 pm

JOKE OF THE DAY:

A MAN FLEW TO FLORIDA AND CHECKED INTO A MOTEL TO AWAIT HIS WIFE WHO
WOULD BE MEETING HIM THE NEXT DAY AFTER A BUSINESS TRIP. AT THE MOTEL HE
DECIDED TO SEND HIS WIFE AN E-MAIL FROM HIS LAP-TOP COMPUTER. WHILE
ENTERING HER ADDRESS HE TYPED ONE LETTER WRONG AND HIS NOTE WAS DIRECTED,
INSTEAD, TO AN ELDERLY PREACHER'S WIFE WHOSE HUSBAND HAD PASSED AWAY
ONLY THE DAY BEFORE. WHEN THE GRIEVING WIDOW CHECKED HER E-MAIL, SHE TOOK
ONE LOOK AT THE MESSAGE, LET OUT A PIERCING SCREAM, AND FELL TO THE
FLOOR IN A DEAD FAINT. HER FAMILY HEARD THE NOISE AND RUSHED INTO THE ROOM
TO FIND HER ON THE FLOOR AND THIS NOTE ON THE SCREEN:

DEAREST WIFE, JUST GOT CHECKED IN. EVERYTHING IS PREPARED FOR YOUR
ARRIVAL TOMORROW.

SIGNED,
YOUR ETERNALLY LOVING HUSBAND.

P.S. SURE IS HOT DOWN HERE! </P
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Postby weruche » Tue Oct 10, 2006 4:32 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:
...but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. ( Phil. 3: 13-14)
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Postby chelsea » Wed Nov 29, 2006 8:50 am

A young man went to his father one day to tell him that he wanted to get married. His father was happy for him. He asked his son who the girl was, and the he told him that it was Samantha a girl from the neighborhood. With a sad face the old man said to his son, "I'm sorry to say this son but I have to. The girl you want to marry is your sister, but please don't tell your mother." The young man again brought 3 more names to his father but ended up frustrated cause the response was still the same. So he decides to go to his mother. "Mama I want to get married but all the girls that I love, dad said they are my sisters and I mustn't tell you." His mother smiling said to him," Don't worry my son, you can marry any of those girls. You're not his son anyway, but please don't tell your father."
TO THINE OWNSELF BE TRUE
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Postby kk » Wed Nov 29, 2006 9:56 am

ashawo husband and wife :smt043 :smt043 :smt043 :smt043 :smt043 :smt043
Enjoy life....You never live the same day twice!
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Postby weruche » Wed Nov 29, 2006 10:00 am

:lol: :lol:
...but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. ( Phil. 3: 13-14)
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Postby Kellyeva » Wed Nov 29, 2006 10:37 pm

Yeye couple.
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Postby kk » Tue Dec 05, 2006 11:33 am

BIG BAD WOLF SAYS TO LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD " UNDO YA BLOUSE AND LET ME SUCK YA TITS". BOLLOCKS SHE SAYS LIFTING HER DRESS, " EAT ME LIKE THE f***** BOOK SAYS"............
Enjoy life....You never live the same day twice!
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